My finger is on the trigger, only you can save me now
by that-crazy-zombie
Summary: Nick x OC Fanfiction. Based on the game "The walking dead Season 2" I'm Swedish so my english isn't the best
1. Chapter 1: Clementine

**My finger on the trigger, only you can stop me now**

**Chapter one: Clementine**

"_I look alive, I'm dead inside"_

_I've been with this group for a while now. They're really nice people and I've gotten a new, first friend - Nick. We take care of each other, like family._

_He's not the smartest so I do the thinking, but we stick together, no matter what. _

_He promised me._

"Urgh…" My eyes fluttered open as the loud gunshot rang in my ears. Panicked, I hurried out of bed and out of the house to see who had shot and why. Luke was already standing there, shouting when I got there.

"Whoa! Whoa! What the fuck!?" He shouted furious and ran up to the group.

It was Nick who shot…

"You idiot! Every lurker for five miles probably heard that!" Rebecca snarled angry at Nick.

"You're the one telling' me to fuckin' shot her!" Nick defended himself.

"What the fuck is goin' on here?!" I asked Nick confused.

"That girl's bit!"

I looked over at the girl who was frightened with her arm in the air in a defending position. She had a cap, her hair in two small ponytails and a bloody arm. She looked a little like my little sister…

"Everybody calm down for a second!" Alvin, Rebecca's guy shouted to everyone.

Luke and I exchanged a look when he passed me to ask the girl if she's okay.

"Clementine, you okay?" He asked worried.

'Clementine' stood up and answered calm, "I just need a doctor… and then… and then I'll go. I don't want my arm to get infected."

Nick spoke fierce, "None of us wants to get infected. That's the point."

_Poor guy… got to kill his own mom when she got bit when they tried to help a wounded man who later turned._

Luke looked at Nick and then at Clementine, "We got a doctor right here, okay. He'll have a look." He turned to the group and snapped, "Now what the hell is wrong with you people!? Okay, she's just scared."

"I'm with Luke on this one." I had walked up to Luke, arms crossed and an angry look on my face, "She's just a girl."

"I know you want to protect the little girl, Hope but think about the group's best and Luke, we're all scared. Don't act like we're the ones being irrational cause we don't buy this bullshit story. Wasn't it you, Hope who met and old guy who was bit and he told you it was just a scratch?! You almost got killed that day!" Rebecca snapped angry at both me and Luke

"…"

I remember that day so clearly… My conscious took over and I decided to help the old guy, but on the way back he "fell asleep" as I thought and later he turned and attacked me. If Luke hadn't been there in that moment I would've been zombie meat right now.

"And there's no way she's survived out there on her own! Why are we even arguing about this?!" Nick shouted at Luke.

Carlos, who had walked out stepped in between everyone and walked up to Clementine, "Let me take a look."

Clementine looked scared and insecure as Carlos held out a hand for her.

Luke, Clementine's 'guardian angel', came to her rescue, "It's okay. Go ahead. He's a doctor."

She pulled up her sleeve, groaning in pain. The bite didn't look so pretty and I don't think it's a walker bite. I just wanted to hug her and help her because I hated to see people in pain. I'm just that kind of person - I want to help those I can. Some people consider me weird for my helpful nature.

Alvin looked at the wound in disgust and spoke quiet, "Damn that must've hurt."

Carlos examined the wound closely, "Hmm… whatever it was, it got you good."

Nick, who was biting on his fingernails, looked at me with a worried expression. You could see on his face that he was thinking real hard. After a while, he finally spoke up, "This isn't how we do things, man. When you're bit, you get put down. End of story. I'm not going through this again."

Luke was getting real tired of this, "No one's suggesting that."

"We could take her arm off." Pete suggested.

"Take her arm off? Are you crazy? She can die!" I shouted at Pete, looking scared.

I felt an arm on my shoulder. I turned around, meeting Nick's hard gaze, telling me I should back away. I'm a stubborn girl, and I won't back up.

"I know that worked for a cousin down in Ainsworth. We could try that. If he made it, Clementine will make it, Hope."

Rebecca came to my rescue, knowing I have a little sister out there somewhere, "It won't do any good. You'll just be makin' it worse for the girl."

"It's crazy. No one is gonna volunteer to do that."

"I would, if it means saving her life." Pete said plain.

"It'll just kill her!"

Clementine turned to her guardian angel, Luke, "You wanna be sure, right? You don't want to do something you're gonna regret."

Luke looked with sadness at the girl and assured her that he's on her side.

Sarah, Carlos daughter, peeked out through the door and asked curious, "Who is she?"

Carlos is very protective over his daughter so he wasn't so happy that she was outside, "Sarah? What'd I say? Stay inside."

Sarah looked hurt and slowly closed the door.

_I feel so sorry for her… She isn't like everyone else, she's different. She would break into small pieces if she knew what the world really is like. On the other side, it could be the best for her._

"I don't mean to be any trouble. I just want to stop the bleeding and then I'll go. You'll never see me again, I promise." Clementine poke with a steady voice as Carlos continued to look at her wound.

_She's so strong, and brave. I really adore her._

"And where exactly would you go?" Carlos asked Clementine.

"To find my friend Christa."

"Forget it. You won't get five feet." Nick said to  
Clementine.

"Look, I may be in the minority here, but my gut tells me she's telling the truth. It probably is just a dog bite… Probably…" Luke wasn't being so confident about what he thought but he had faith, he really had.

Carlos got up from the ground and walked over to us.

"So?" I asked nervous.

"Was it a lurker?" Nick asked directly after me.

"A bite like that… could be anything. Only one way to find out." Carlos told us.

"How?"

"We wait."

_Wait for what? For her to get sick? For the wound to get infected?_

"What?" Rebecca didn't agree with Carlos. She too, thought it was crazy. 

"By tomorrow morning, if the fever's set in, we'll know if he's gonna turn. In the meantime we can look her in the shed." Carlos explained to us, arms crossed.

Clementine's expressions showed that she panicked, "What about my arm…? It needs to get cleaned, and stitched, and bandaged…"

Luke got impatience and snapped, "The girl is in bad shape, Carlos."

"We have all that stuff inside the cabin, we could probably get by with…-"

"ALVIN, please…" Rebecca snarled.

"But yeah… We can't do anything."

"I'm not wasting supplies on a lurker bite. If it turns out you're telling the truth, I'll clean it up and stitch it for you in the morning." Carlos said plain, showing no emotions for the girl.

"But…" Clementine looked like an emotional wreckage, to be true.

"I'm sorry it's the best we can get." Luke apologized.

Nick was already walking towards Pete for his rifle. "Finger of the trigger, son."

"I ain't your son." Nick scoffed at Pete.

Luke got angry and defended the old man, "Don't be like that, man."

"It's all right. Boy's got his mother's temper."

Nick turned to give Clementine a quick glance before saying grumpy, "Come on." They started to walk to the shed while Rebecca argued about the whole thing again.

"This is just a waste of time. You'll see. And when she turns, I ain't gonna be the one cleaning up the mess."

"Hey, guys! Wait for me!" I yelled at them.

Nick looked back at me and yelled, "You're too slow."

Adjusting my sword on my back, I ran up to them, walking beside Nick.

"My arm hurts…"

"I'm sure it does… I just wish Carlos could stitch you up right now." I grumbled, angry about what the "group" decided.

"Why waste supplies on a lurker bite?" Nick looked angry at me like I was the dumbest person alive.

I growled at him and walked beside Luke instead.

"Don't bother bout' him." Luke told me. He wasn't so happy neither about locking up a little girl in a shed.

He opened the doors to the shed and gave Clementine an apologizing look. Nick adjusted his rifle so Clementine would get that she has to walk inside.

Closing the doors, Clementine gave one last look of despair to all of us.

I sighed and rubbed my arm, I feel so fucking bad for doing this…"

"It's for your own safety." Nick butted in, trying to make me feel better.

I sighed one last time before making my way back to the cabin, "Let's go."

*Magical time skip*

"_Black clouds are behind me_

_I now can see ahead_

_Often I wonder why I try_

_Hoping for an end_

_Sorrow weighs my shoulders down_

_And trouble haunts my mind_

_But I know the present will not last_

_And tomorrow will be kinder_

_Tomorrow will be kinder_

_It's true, I've seen it before_

_A brighter day is coming my way_

_Yes, tomorrow will be kinder"_

A light knock was heard on the door.

"Yeah?"

The door opened slowly, revealing Nick standing there, "Uh… I heard you sing… It was kinda… really… Beautiful…"

I felt my cheeks heat up, "Thanks…"

"There's some food for you downstairs. You haven't eaten on the whole day."

"Thank you for your concern, but no thanks, I'm not hungry." I closed my eyes and pulled the blankets over my head, waiting for him to leave.

"Bullshit."

I sat up, arms crossed, "I don't lie. I never do."

"Everyone lies." Nick said quiet. He had walked into the room and closed the door.

"Not me, no." A smile crept its way to my face and I did something unexpected… I threw a pillow right in Nick's face.

"…"

"You love me anyway!" I smiled at him as he grabbed the pillow in a hard grip.

"I do. Really, but you're just so annoying sometimes." He teased and threw the pillow back with full force. It hit me flat in the face and I fell backwards, looking like a dead fish.

"Ouch..." I breathed between laughs.

"You can at least follow me downstairs."

"Hell no! They're just arguing all the time! Let's do that and let's do that. I don't even have a vote in all of this." I sighed and rubbed my eyes tiresome.

"Suite yourself." With those last words, he left the room with a bored Hope.

_Fuck it, I'll go to sleep again…_


	2. Authors note

**14-03-13**

**A/N:**

**I can't update today… But hopefully, a new chapter is out tomorrow! I've been stressed and tired and I needed to clean my room today..**

**Hope you don't give up all hope in me ;)**

**See ya'!**


	3. Chapter 2: FUBAR

**A/N: I'm sorry for a bad chapter! I'm very, very stressed. I hope this doesn't confuse you too much! Please leave a review if you have any ideas/thoughts about my story and what I could do better/change 3**

**I'm using songs in chapters, as you've noticed (hopefully). In this chapter it's "**_**Zombie romance - Snow White's Poison**_**". It's a hilarious song.**

**And: _I'll never walk this way again_ - "I really have no idea, sorry"**

* * *

**Chapter two: FUBAR**

_The way that she moaned and the way that she moved,_

_as she slowly walked towards me_

_Her heart didn't beat and I knew,_

_she was the one for me_

"Wake up!"

_The hell…?_

With blurry vision, I sat up, looking around.

"Finally."

I jumped right up, half scared to death, "Jesus Christ, man! I think you just gave me a fucking heart-attack!"

"I don't feel sorry bout' it." Nick teased and crossed his arms.

"What's up?" I asked sleepily, trying to get out of bed.

"The kid stole supplies and patched herself up… Talk about hard-ass kid."

"Christ…" Just the thought about having to sew myself up made me want to throw up. "Is she alright?"

"Don't know. Luke gave her something to eat."

"You should go apologize." I said strict, but gave him a smile to lighten up the tension.

Nick's face softened, looking less troubled. "You'll support me, right?"

"Of course I am!"

"Thanks, I really appreciate it."

We walked downstairs and into the kitchen. Nick hesitated for a second, gripped my hand and squeezed it.

"Nick?" I'm really worried about him. He isn't exactly stable. Hell, who is in this times? It's hard to survive and at the same time, protect your family. I guess he feels like an asshole for almost killing the girl. Lucky for her he sucks at shooting.

Nick let go of my hand and answered, "Nothin'…"

Nick walked up to Clementine while I just stayed in the shadows, at the door. He stood there awkward, thinking about what he was going to say.

"Hey look. Um, I just wanted to say I'm sorry for… well… for being a dick out there. I got kinda aggro and that was definitely not cool."

"Nick's been known to go off once in a while. Don't hold it against him." Luke explained.

Clementine's head went from left to right as both of the talked.

"I guess we all got our moments." Nick gave me a nervous look and bit his lip.

"You definitely had one out there…" Luke said quiet.

Clementine looked at Nick and said, "You were just protecting your friends, I understand."

"I didn't mean to be so harsh. I just… we had a bad experience once."

Nick looked even more nervous than before that Clementine would hate him.

"We've all had bad experiences." Clem answered plain.

Luke opened his mouth, trying to find words. "Nick… lost his mom. We took care of someone who was bit."

"It was my fault. I-"

_Stop blame yourself, Nick._

"It was no one's fault. We thought we could handle it… we couldn't and his mom got attacked…" I looked down and closed my eyes, replaying the scene in my head… Nick's mom standing in front of me, bit in the neck…

"There was nothing we could do about it…" Luke said in a hushed tone.

"Anyway… I hope you understand." Nick looked sad and troubled again.

_Awww, I just want to hug him…_

"Yeah… I understand…" Clem answered quiet, continuing to eat her food in quiet.

Nick walked out, followed by me. He put his hand to his head and closed his eyes.

"Nick, are you okay…?" I asked worried and walked closer to him.

He didn't answer but just stood there.

"You can talk to me, you know that." I tried to encourage him to say what was wrong but he still didn't answer. "I'll be on the roof if you want something."

"The roof…?" He thought I was crazy to go out on my own and go up on the _roof_.

"Yeah… are you worried or what?"

"No."

*Magic time skip*

"_I was born beside this river_

_'Bout a half a mile from here_

_But I never seemed to notice_

_That the water ran this clear_

_And I've never seen that color green_

_Sparkle down the glen_

_Now I'll never pass this way again_

_I have wandered through that orchard_

_And played among her trees_

_But I've never heard the secrets_

_That she whispers in the breeze_

_For the only sound on hallowed ground_

_Is the silence of the men_

_Who will never pass this way again_

_It never shone as beautiful_

_As how it looks today_

_We never miss the things we love_

_'Til they go away_

_But I have heard the bugler's call_

_And it's time for me to leave_

_For there comes a day_

_When a man must say_

_I will die for what I believe_

_I have often thrown my pennies_

_In that old wishing well_

_And if I had a penny_

_I would wish me a spell_

_I would kneel and pray_

_That here I'd stay_

_Forever Amen_

_But I'll never pass this way_

_No I'll never pass this way_

_No I'll never pass this way again"_

Singing is like an escape, but I know I can't escape this reality. It just calms you down for a moment, making you feel happy…

I'm thinking about my sister again, wondering where she is now. I can't imagine her being one of those… things. I can't imagine her pretty face being rotten, or her eyes being lifeless. My mother always told us that we were her little angels and that if it ever happens something to her, we need to stick together.

Sometimes I wished dead to the world, but I didn't really mean it. Not like this…

I blame myself for Nick's mom's death. I stood there, right in front of her… I could've helped her, but I was too scared. It was the first time someone ever died in front of me. Sure, you need to get used to it, but… it's not something you just can "get used to".

I can't take it out of my head. Seeing healthy people gets sick and die, or being bit and shot. I just can't take this, but I can't just ignore everything and pretend like nothing's happening. Suicide could be a way out, but I'm too scared to do it. A bullet to the head and you're dead, sure, it sounds easy, trust me it isn't.

Hours passed as I sat on the roof, looking for any signs of walkers or intruders. Nothing came and I began to get bored.

Another hour passed and I was almost sleeping with my knees up to my chin.

"Hope!"

I looked up to see Pete and the girl, "Yes?"

"I need your help with those fish traps, down the lake."

I stood up and stretched a little, my body sore after sitting like a ball in more than 4 hours. "Sure."

"How ya' holding up? I heard you got an earful from Rebecca last night." Pete asked Clem, looking around for any dangers that might lurk nearby.

"What's her problem?"

Well, she's got a lot on her mind lately. Bringing a baby into a world like this can't be so fun." Pete answered.

"How far are these fish traps?" Clem asked and looked around for the lake.

"It's not so far away from here, really." I said and adjusted my sword. My sword is being a pain in the ass because it just won't be still when I walk. "Did anyone teach you how to shoot, with a pistol or rifle?"

"My friend Lee taught me…" She answered and looked down. This Lee guy was probably a close person to her.

"That's good. It's important nowadays." Pete didn't notice that Clem was a little down at the mention of 'Lee'.

We stepped over a fence with steel wires.

"Nick was about your age when I first took him huntin'. Came across this beautiful 13-point buck just standin' there on the ridgeline. The boy takes his rifle… lines up the shot just like I taught him… then I hear him start whinin'. He turns to me and he says 'I can't do it. I can't shoot it, Uncle Pete. Please don't make me shoot it."

"Really? No way." Clem said and looked Pete.

"I haven't heard that until now." I laughed and tried to think about Nick as an 11 year old little boy.

"Hey! Why didn't you wait?" Nick came running and stopped beside me.

"You want us standin' around while you piss on a tree? You know where the river is, boy. Anyway, so I go grab the gun out of his hand before BANG! The gun fires. Boy nearly gut shot me. And of course the buck gets away." Pete finished and me and Clem laughs.

Nick looks utterly pissed. "What're you goin' and tellin' them this shit for?"

"Cause you almost blew her face off yesterday. Seems relevant. Tryin' to let her know it's nothin' personal with you."

"Why are you always giving me a hard time?"

"Because you're always givin' everyone else a hard time."

"I apologized already! She accepted."

"Well, I didn't know that."

"Guys, stop!" I yelled at them, trying to stop them from arguing any further.

Both of them scoffed. Nick took my hand and pulled me ahead.

"Come on."

When we were far away from them, Nick said, "What's his problem?"

"What's your problem? Both of you seems… pissed at each other." I crossed my arms and walked faster.

"Hey! What do you mean?"

"Think about it for a while. The river is just around the co-…" I stopped in the middle of my sentence and looked with surprise at the 'murder scene'.

"Oh god… UNCLE PETE!"

"What is it? Are you okay?" Pete came running with Clem right behind. "What the…"

"They're shot. Someone shot them all."

"Oh no… Mary and Joseph…"

I kneelt down and turned the body around, army knife in hand to smash its head in if it were a walker. To my relief, they were shot in the head. "They are shot to pieces… and this one is shot in the head. Pete, Clementine, Nick, check the others."

_Is this Carver's work…?_

"Check for ammo. We're runnin' low." Pete said while checking some other bodies. "This wasn't some rinky-dink pissin' match."

"But… what was it then?"

"FUBAR"

* * *

**A/N: I'm going to end this chapter now because I got sick today, so I'm tired and my head hurts. 2 days ago, I fell on the ice and landed on a big-ass rock so my knee is "fleshy"… I don't know if that's a word but I hope you get what I mean. Anyways, I'm sorry for a bad chapter.**

**FUBAR: Fucked up beyond all recognition**

**-For all those who don't know what it is-**

**Thank you **_**Saving Private Ryan **_**for teaching me what FUBAR is :P**


	4. Note

**A/N: No, I haven't stopped writing on this story, I'm just very sick. I can't even make it out of bed. I felt less sick today so I decided to inform you guys that I will be gone for the weekend and where I'm going it won't be any internet, so… Yeah. But I'll try to write there if I don't feel too sick.**


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